What is going on with styling?
By: Erin Holdbeck
I’ve never missed Joan Rivers more than I did yesterday after being bombarded with pictures of Taylor Swift’s Grammy’s red carpet look. “She (Taylor) is such a fashionista, but sometimes she's a little wooden. I mean she's more wooden than Betty White's first dildo,” was the last read Joan ever gave to Taylor on Fashion Police, ahead of her time as always.
Long may she reign <3
I’ll give it to Taylor, it takes true talent to make a custom Schiaparelli gown look like off-the-rack David’s Bridal. Mix in the whack over-accessorizing featuring a watch choker set to midnight 😒, satin prom gloves, and unbrushed hair and it looks like she was playing dress-up in her grandmother’s closet in 1995. I took a look at Schiaparelli’s Instagram and was relieved I wasn’t the only one feeling as though my eyes were being trolled. This might be a harsh critique, but once you disrespect an ailing Celine Dion the (satin) gloves are coming off.
Sure, it’s just a messy fit with way too much going on, and there were far more notable moments of the evening (Annie Lenox!), but with the world crumbling around us if I am forced to see a billionaire pop star on my timeline is it too much to ask that she at least look chic? I never anticipate Taylor’s style to innovate given that she hasn’t updated her look since 2009, but she typically executes her swoop bang and pageantry gowns well.
I can’t give all the credit to TayTay - she wasn’t the only one bringing absolutely nothing on Sunday evening. Sloppy hemlines, wrinkled fabric, and overall forgettable looks were the theme of the night. The notable exception of the was Miley Cyrus, who arrived in a custom-made Maison Margiela safety pin dress designed by John Galliano. She later donned a classic Bob Mackie for her performance, a nod to the late Tina Turner. In an unsurprising twist, she ended up on worst-dressed lists because people yearn for the predictable and bland (the T-Swift effect). I keep seeing that Taylor’s look included “easter eggs for fans," but Miley’s looks had way more interesting and inspired backstories, which went unappreciated.
These styling choices haven’t been limited to the award shows lately. A few weeks ago, Chanel released their most recent collection at Couture Week, which immediately inspired memes and hot takes on what a beautiful disaster it was. While it’s hard to imagine anyone could fill Karl Lagerfeld’s shoes as the label’s creative director, Virginie Viard’s collections have been unravelling his legacy for modernizing Chanel and turning the house into what it is today. The pieces themselves looked like they belonged in the Zara sale, but the styling is what truly killed the show. Unflattering and ill-fitting the “dancer” inspired collection was giving more my-first-ballet-recital than prima ballerina.
When stylists are doing the biggest popstar and most established fashion house in the world this dirty one starts to wonder what the hell is going on. How is it that the contestants on Ru Paul’s Drag Race have a better understanding of tailoring and accessorizing than those behind some of the most famous looks in the world? Especially when there are still stylists turning out LOOK after LOOK like Dara Allen is for Hunter Schafer. If you want a masterclass in proper Schiaparelli styling look no further than Schafer at the Hunger Games premier.
At the complete opposite end of the spectrum when it came to Couture Week was the absolute spectacle that was the Maison Margiela show. In what felt like a deranged, theatrical callback to Galliano’s couture collections for Dior, the show had everything from professionally choreographed models to merkins (!!!) made of human hair. Weeks later it’s still the most talked-about show of the week and one of the most memorable runways in recent years, which means there might still be hope for innovation and absurdity in fashion. Galliano has spent his career proving that when styled and executed correctly even the most bizarre looks can be aesthetically appealing. I just want to be excited about the runway and red carpet again. If the next time I see Taylor Swift on a runway and she isn’t wearing a translucent corset dress accessorized with a merkin made of her assistant’s hair I am hosting a séance to send the poltergeist of Joan Rivers to her house.